What do I do next? Part 3

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Try meetup. You're putting forward a lot of excuses, but those are just excuses and I'm sure you know that. If you decide to do it you'll make it happen.

Time with the kids -- you only have the kids half the time right?
Work schedule -- not much you can do about that, but I'm sure you have time when you're not working.
Housework -- set aside one to two nights a week and don't deal with it outside of those hours
Dealing with bills -- one night a week.

Worst case you should have 2 nights every other week, plus every other weekend to get out and do something. Pick meetups that center around things that don't cost any money, like hiking. Depending on where you live, check Craigslist and see if people are looking for crew for sailboat racing -- also free.

No one is going to turn this around but you. You have to dig for the strength and find it. Consider changing your living situation if your expenses are killing you, find a less expensive place to live. You'll be happier in the long term if you're not stretched so thin.

Try to find some counseling -- if you don't have money for it, find a church and talk to the priest or minister. If that doesn't appeal to you, consider a UU church which is not going to be religious. It will feel good just to go every Sunday and start seeing the same people each week.

You sound like you're bottoming out. You have to have faith that it will get better. There's nothing anyone is going to say to make this better for you at this point, you just have to decide to make it better for yourself. That can start by setting small goals -- get out and do one thing where you can meet people next week. Just one thing. Give attending a church service serious consideration, doesn't have to be religious. My UU church is really more of a social club in my view -- the minister is an atheist and recently gave a sermon that denying evolution is like not believing in gravity. I was thinking "this is supposed to be a church, right?"

Also consider exercise. Exercise can do wonders for your state of mind and self-confidence and doesn't have to cost anything. Just go for a walk every night, that's a good way to start. Ride a cheap bike, do pushups and situps, whatever you can manage. It will chemically improve your mood and help you feel better.

You need to help yourself Luvhurts, your kids need you.

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