Whoo boy. Where's that "face palm" emoticon, anyway???
Navy, you are what, THREE YEARS into this now? And you're still operating based on your EMOTIONS and FEELINGS, instead of what you intellectually KNOW (and have learned) are the things to do (and not do).
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I know the following goes against the DB principles, but I think I'm to the point where I had to try something different.
Honestly, I don't see anything "different" about what you did. Can you HONESTLY say that this was part of something you THOUGHT OUT, maybe got some wise outside counsel on, and then decided to do it as part of your overall plan? Or did you do it because you FELT like it, out of maybe some combination of wanting to make her feel guilty about what she was doing and maybe come running back to you?