I'm suspecting she can't get past it. So why are we all telling her she should "let go"?
Clearly she's not letting go. But we'll keep trying to talk her out of it ...
For the sake of the marriage...
Which I don't get.
Especially in light of the fact that she seems to want a reason to leave him.
ESN, no one is trying to talk May out of anything nor into anything. We are telling her to step back, breath and consider her choices before making any decisions in the heat of the moment.
We are sharing our experiences because that's what we all do on this forum. We share, we learn and hopefully we grow.
In the end, May will do what is best for her and that's all any of us want.
If she wants to leave him, she will.
When I discovered my H's PA, I recall that 25 posted that if I couldn't get past it, she would not judge, that it was okay because not everyone can.
As I said, I'm sure not 100% convinced I can but I'm taking the advice I've learned here on DB as well, as information I've learned from reading other sources, and I'm doing my best to not rush into any decision I may later regret.
I'm letting May know what worked for me. If it doesn't work for her, I am not dependant on the outcome.
When I first read her story, I thought her H was a jerk. I mean who leaves a pregnant woman?! There's got to be some man code against that, right? But we don't know who he is now. We don't live with him.
People change.
And if they don't....then why are any of us here?
that's another one of your posts I will be quoting (and of course attributing) endeavor.
ESN you are reading our responses in a very dfferent way than I am. No one told her to let it go for the sake of the marriage??...
that really misses the main point of my message..but no matter and never mind b/c I hope my last one cleared it up for you.
Endeavor I hope your kids are well (I'll check if you have your thread back so we don't hijack).
But some great insights, great personal work. Nice motivator for me to get back on my track and monitor MY results.
I've been DBing with my youngest d, "checking in" to see if I'm verbalizing enough appreciation for the chores she does.
Apparently words of affirmation and hugs are her LLs... "DB: it's not just for marriage anymore."
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
