So... why not take a new tact with your son? Can you ask your H to let your son help him move? My oldest was 8 when her dad moved out, so I had him ask her to help him so that she understood that she had a place with him and to let her feel part of that process. It helped... especially if you are going to be splitting parenting time. Help your son realize that dad's place is also his home.
[color:#FF6666] I am open to any and all suggestions about how to help my S4 though this. My MC (both of our IC) has suggested that she doesn't want the kids to see his new place, it would be easier if all of his visits with him are at our house. This is the exact opposite of the advice she gave my girlfriend who sees her as an IC. She said the sooner the kids she her ExH new place the better. If I am being honest I hope it means that there is hope for us long term.
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Are you the kind of person who just spouts out whatever you're thinking?[/quote]
Guilty as charged. I am working on this with my IC. I have been doing much better in the past 5 days. Doesn't sound like long but hey it's a start.
[quote]Get it? Do a 180 on your worst behavior or at a minimum, the one your H throws at you the most often. Work on *showing* him that you are committed to changing what he dislikes the most in you.[/quote He would 100% say that my biggest issue is control. I have taken control of some things (house, kids stuff, social planning) . He is passive aggressive so in our major life decisions I feel like he gets his way a lot (i.e. our current situation). So I will work on control, this gets easier for me as I am detaching. [quote] When I deliberately invoked the concept of a choice ('cause they truly believe that you force them), he realized that he could choose to say no.
[/color]Wise, wise advice. I am going to start this one today. I think that is why he says I control, because he never tells me when he doesn't want to do something!
Thanks for your post, I read your bio on the vets forum, sounds like you really lived the principles and continue to do so
M 37, H 37 M 10, T 12 S 4 D 2 3/14/12 ILYBNILWY 4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing 4/26/12 H moves to his new place
