I'm trying to take the steps - need to shut out the other noise and focus on what is important.
Peace everyone...
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
Sometimes shutting out the other noise can be difficult but you are moving in the right direction. One day at a time (reminding myself while reminding you haha)
I check the forum about once a week and am trying to stay upto date on everyone's situation.
The reason I haven't been posting is that there has been no real change in our circumstances. Thanks to the good folks on this forum I've taken charge of my life and am leaving my W to take her chosen path.
I know she is still meets with OM occasionally - does it bother me, yes it bothers me - but I don't talk to my W about what she does or where she goes, that's her choice. She told me a while back that she stopped seeing him, either the pull is too strong or he's got a lot more than I have. She even admitted to a mutual friend she "had a boyfriend that she sees from time to time" - so she's no longer trying to cover it up.
As for me - I'm good, I've taken a weekend trip with some buddies and spend my spare time keeping busy and focusing on the girls. I've taken some cooking classes and have started playing golf now the weather has warmed up.
My W still hasn't filed for D - she wants everything settled before she files. There is a major sticking point re: alimony and duration, unfortunately we are so far apart that we may need to let a judge decide. Re: custody of the girls, we're pretty close to 50/50 - I get 3 weekends out of 4 and some midweeks...
House is on the market and we'll need to lower the price, we both still live there as neither of us can afford to pay for two places. It suits me as I get to see the girls every day as opposed to 50% of the time. I've been checking out rentals and I know I can make this work, I'll get serious about renting when we get an offer on the house.
Overall - I'm ready to move on with the next phase of my life. It's been hard not to feel bitter at times but I've not shown anything outwardly, I need to take my path and she needs to take hers...
For all you newbies out there new to this - listen to the wise folks on this forum, I made every mistake under the sun and then some - would it have made any difference, I'm not sure with OM in picture. I do know I didn't help my cause...
Peace everyone..
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
Hey Bklyn - perhaps we should have a limbo party....
I vote for the East village - used to love hanging out downtown in the old days...
Seriously - I am sorry to hear you are still in limbo, not sure if there was an event that made me more accepting of where I am - just kind of creeped up on me.
As the folks here say - "be the man / woman only a fool would leave" - and if they do leave, you'll find someone else who isn't a fool.
While I wouldn't wish all of this on anyone - it's certainly made me a much better / nicer person
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
Peter I can tell that u have grown through this painful journey. I remember how hard it was for u at the beginning. You my friend have great things awaiting. We should watch a soccer game at the meadowlands some time. Yes the US will win the cup before England sorry.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
And if I win the lottery - maybe we'll watch a game in Rio during the next world cup...
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12