first thought Val is a tax one. Does she want to hire a professional for this?
I don't know. We don't communicate enough really. I do not that she is not thrilled to pay that much. I also know that she didn't really do much research on the whole thing until I said that I was filing separately.
Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
Anyhow, the "splitting" year might be best handled by a real pro... take the loses where ever they may be for the year and the filing...
I understand and don't necessarily disagree. It's just hard to pay $500 ontop of the thousands I will owe. It's not like I don't have the money set aside... it's just that part of me feels that I'm doing this because SHE got screwed last year. I know that we both made the decision to file how we did.. so in some ways I'm accountable.
My head is just currently perceiving this as I would be hiring a CPA for her. And I am very much against bailing her out in any way.
The truth is that it is OUR problem and hiring a CPA would stop the chances of us having to reconnect to fix anything. If we went with my original guy... I wouldn't have to see her for taxes at all - which would be a huge bonus for me.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Oh--the last part about you not wanting to see her or minimizing the time you two are together, is NOT needed.
You can say "completed by June 1" as a way of saying you want to move forward and assume she does too.
No need for the rest about not having to see her much. Sounds a little nasty and
it's redundant, when you realize the implications of having it all complete by a certain date, don't you think?
I can understand how both you and Rick think that it sounds angry and it's not meant to be...
... it's just REALLY hard to be in contact with her. And so I do my best to limit my contact, get back to her about important stuff as best I can, yet avoid the baiting and the pointless chatter.....
... yet she persists. And I understand why... she wants this to be over. She's ready to finalize and move on.
I get it.. and I know it needs to happen. Not just for her sake but my sake too... but it still hurts. It hurts when she's spews venom, it hurts when she is kind.
But I can't tell her. It goes against the "acting as if" and being positive. Plus I don't really want to make it seem like a guilt trip for her. I may not ever like or understand the choices she has made.. but I accept them. I accept what that means for me.
And I know that life will be great. I'm aware of all the positive things happening and feel so blessed all the time...
...and that IS the way I live... I don't sit and mop or feel sorry for myself. I don't bad mouth her in anyway. I don't really spend much time analyzing her or us anymore. I don't even really miss her that much.
... but with all of that... it doesn't change the fact that it hurts what she did/is doing to me.
And as much as GAL and spin things around... that part always remains.
Urgh.. I'm rambling.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
