Picked up D on Friday and W had de-camped before I arrived ( back to the bad old days again!! ). Dropped D back on Sunday and W would not come to the door to speak to me, just busied herself in the kitchen preparing dinner - smelled good too. Up until she went on holiday, she would have chatted on the front step or maybe come down to the car to talk for a while.
OK, no problem, I can deal with this so swapped D with S and set off back to my place.
30 secs later got a call from D to say that my new passport was at home so I turned round to pick it up. D brings it to the door and I say that I want to speak to mum. W comes to the door looking really kind of stressed, quite sad, almost tearful. W apologises for not phoning and say's she is having a hard time dealing with seeing me again( i'm guessing she means the 'new' me, calm, chilled, happy & looking GOOD ). I do believe the rebound relationship with OM is beginning to wear her down a little although I may have that all wrong, who knows. W promised to phone me this week to talk and today I had brief conversation with her with a promise of a longer chat when more convenient for both of us.
I'm not expecting anything positive as far as 'us' is concerned just now, or indeed ever. I am content to be just a friend, a good friend, the best friend. I will tell her straight that I think her R with the OM is wrong for her, that it is just a rebound R that she thought she needed to cope with our separation. I'm not going to suggest that we should reconcile, I'm going to suggest just the opposite. That she needs to take some time out on her own, get some 'me time'. Experience life without the pressure of another person. Take time to consider what she really wants and maybe WHO she really wants, and also make it clear that I don't expect that person necessarily to be me. I'm seeing this whole situation from the perspective of someone who has lived the last year coming to terms with hurt, pain, and loneliness that separation brings. She has yet to experience those feelings, but I think now is the the time for her to face them. It's going to be painful for her, but in the end she will be a better person for it. I'm kind of looking forward to helping her if she'll let me, plus I think I've learned enough about myself and have the inner strength not to unduly influence her decision whatever it may be.
Hope that makes sense.
FF999
Me 48 W 49 D19, S17, D14 Together 25yr, Married 22yr Me checked-out July 10, back Sept 10 W checked out Nov 10 Separated Dec 10 ILYBNILWY 2nd Apr 11 We're finished + D bomb 17th Apr 11
