Do I just give in?

[Hurt84]

Well for starters, I think every time we are going to talk she is expecting it to turn into an argument. She feels like everything that needs to be said has already been said so why repeat it. Me, I would find 5 different ways to say the same thing to try and get any type of response out of her when all this started. That would frustrate her so she comes in with this preconceived notion of how its going to go.

I think with me basically re-framing the conversations away from how and why we got here or expressing my frustrations or anger to more about what's next is a surprise to her. Knowing her, or at least thinking I did, I think she's a little thrown off by that because its not what she expects.

As far as what I want, honestly, I want her back home. The reason I push her with cutting ties is because to an extent I feel like she's just trying to keep me at arms length or strung along if she does move out. I'd like to agree with what you said about the contact being good when it happens but I've been trying not to get my hopes up that she doesn't want to completely cut ties...as far as I know, she's still talking to OM so it's not like I'd be getting her full attention.

The other part is that when she is out, and we aren't in contact, I do want her to get a dose of reality. Right now, I take care of the bills, make sure the dog is cared for, do more than my fair share of the household chores and make sure we both have dinner ready on the nights she works late among other things. Basically, I tried to make things as easy as possible for her and I feel a little snake bitten that she'd walk away from all that. I feel like I made things too easy for her so why should I let it continue.

It's a very negative way of looking at things, it actually bothers me. In one hand I want her home and working on our issues and the other if she wants out then I want her to really what it's like.