Our C was actually a MC, who we'd gone to together just after (as it turned out) H had recontacted OW. The MC worked with my H alone for 3 months, until they were ready to "invite" me back. Of course, there was always the possibility during therapy, including EMDR, that H would choose to end the M, but what H asked the C for at the first meeting, and later, was how to get the OW out of his mind and feel a connection with me again.
I gather that PEAs work the most strongly for 6-24 months; after a while, my H felt more guilt than pleasure from contact with OW--kind of like someone might feel after gobbling down dozens of cookies in secret....
