I know that people here say that WAS will sit on the fence for as long as they're able, but I didn't find that to be true of my H. He made the most progress, in dealing with his childhood issues, working through the depression, learning to use his rational mind instead of emotions again, connecting with his children and learning to feel for me again, in the approximately 3 months after he'd re-contacted her.
I'm genuinely happy this worked out for you, Cyrena. Lord knows, we need more success stories -- they're encouraging. I do think that this is NOT a typical situation, however. Any good IC worth their salt will try to get a wayward patient to be free of BOTH relationships (separate from your spouse, if you must, but ALSO go no-contact with your paramour), to get into the proper decision-making frame of mind and emotion.
It's a physiological fact that contact with OM/OW juices up the PEAs in our brains, and blocks us to most if not all of our spouse's genuine efforts to meet our emotional needs.
