What do I do next? Part 3

[luvhurts49]

You know, it really upsets me that she has and is doing things for this OM that I couldn't get her to do for the last 20 years. And on top of all that, it's almost like she deliberately flaunts it in my face just to get me going.

I love my W, I love my kids, and I love my family, but anything I do or don't do, doesn't make things any better. I dream about my W every night and wake up in the morning realizing that it's just another dream. I know we have no control over our dreams, but come on...it's been like this for 8 months. It becomes hard to take after a while.

So this last weekend was my W's birthday and her sister was in town (from Florida) and they both came to drop off the kids (it was my weekend). I didn't do anything dramatic or buy some big or expensive gift or anything. I simply had each of our kids give her a card and I also gave her a card and some flowers. I didn't hug her or kiss or anything like that, but it really tells you something when you get a better reaction from my SIL than my W. My SIL gave me a hug and said all the nice things you're supposed to say while my W didn't even look at me and didn't even bother to say thank you.

Now I know better that to expect anything extraordinarily positive from my W, but even a simple acknowledgement would have seemed appropriate.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm going down in flames and just trying to keep my sanity. I'm gonna continue to do what I need to for my kids, but she is literally tearing me apart.