You mention a set of 180s which relate to yourself: weight loss, haircuts, less coffee etc
Have you tried any behaviour 180s i.e. if you were controlling before or passive/aggressive...have you changed your nagging? stopped criticising....
Ow yes. Absolutely. I am doing a lot of listening. She is talking from time to time (basically when we swap the house). I am looking into her eyes and really listening and making sure she knows she was heard and that I understand. I have asked her questions to get her to talk more and that has worked too. The thing is, I was always ready to listen. My wife was never much of a communicator. If I am lucky to get back together with her, and she learns to communicate better, then I am going to be in heaven.
Part of my "more of the same" behavior was asking lots and lots and lots of questions to understand what she is thinking. This could be about anything from what movie she would like to see, place to have dinner, vacations, etc. She was so silent at times it felt like pulling teeth. So I have completely put this behavior to a halt. I never liked it anyway, I just felt I had to do this to ensure her needs and wants were being taken care of. Clearly that didn't work because look where I am now.
