I didn't see it coming part 2

[breakdownbill]

Hi Yankee

Well my weekend has gone a lot better than my week in terms of how I was feeling about my W.

We've hung out a bit with the kids & we were talking just about stuff going on. Then last night My W nearly makes me pee my pants with this Tom Jones impression we were both howling laughing. It was great, just like old times.

Then tonight my Dad calls about letting borrow his car & picking my Mum & Dad up from the airport next week. My W answered the phone, but avoided any real conversation with my Dad (she wasn't rude, but passed the phone over pretty quickly).

Well anyway my mum is on the phone for about 5 minutes before she asks about our kids, she hasn't seen them in a fortnight since we stopped going for Sunday lunch. My sister has got 2 kids the same age as mine & she got divorced about 4 years ago. Well my Mum & Dad spend all their free time with them, take my sister's kids to school & take them places, whereas my 2 get overlooked all the time. This has been a bone of contention & something me & my W have argued about alot in the past. You know the same argument over & over.

Well I thought it was coming tonight & it did (kind of)... My W started off with her usual opening onslaught about my mum treating our kids second best & making no effort, but instead of me going silent, I validated her. These things annoy & hurt me too, but she's still my mum so I don't enjoy these conversations. I validated everything that she said & it was a really calm conversation & I brought it to an end by saying something I surprised myself with I said:

I don't like the way my mum and dad are with our kids & it hurts me just as much...But I can't change how the way they are, I wish it was different, but it's not. I've tried to talk to them about it in the past but it doesn't change anything.... Then out of nowhere I say,

D & S are my family and always will be.

Now it wasn't a conscious thing for me to not include my W in that sentence but I didn't and it kind of threw my W off guard a little (raise an eyebrow), but she validated me by saying I know.

More than anything I want to work things out with my W & keep my family together, so I don't know quite where that came from..

Something to reflect on anyway...

Bill