Well I don't know if I am a vet but I survived and came out the other side and am so much happier than I ever was, I think that would be my main achievement.
This was a huge learning curve for me and I wish it had been less traumatic but then I wouldn't have learnt the lessons I needed to.
My exh was in his 20s and went through a huge life crisis after nearly dying through a long serious illness that be still has. He had an affair, bought (bad!!) new clothes, new car, idiot new friends, new girl etc. We have been divorced a year and a half now and separated since 2007.
What I learnt
- that you can't help people that don't want your help. - rejection is heartbreaking but most of the time it is more about the other person than you. - take responsibility for yourself. Look at your contributions to your marriage and learn from your mistakes. Do not blame yourself and dwell too much, forgive yourself, learn and move on. - life is for living, enjoy yourself and be present because time is too precious to waste. You won't get your children's childhoods back ( or your late 20s in my case). - life may not be what you envisioned but it has a funny way of working out. - this will take time, allow yourself time to heal from the hurt and know (I promise) that things will get better. - lastly, and most importantly take opportunities as they come along. This is time for growth, use it wisely.
I thought divorce was the worst thing ever, I do still feel shame about it and it is a sore spot, however I have accepted it and embraced opportunities as they have come my way.
You will survive whether your marriage is saved or not, you will be stronger and most probably a better person for this hideous experience called separation.
