Dispite all the bad things that I have said, and they are true, she was my best friend, lover and the person that I told my deepest thoughts to. I have lots of friends but no one that I am really close to. I gave that all to her because that is what I thought a spouse was for.
I dangled the marriage thing over her head. She wanted to get married badly and begged me all the time. Security she said. I didn't want to if she was not going to work and not quit the pills. She wasn't going to.
And I am convienced that she does not plan to do either one of those ever. So that is why I must leave, heal, detach and otherwise get over this relationship. Can't be thinking about it 10 hours a day. It is hard to GAL when it is on your mind and you are constantly fighting with your thoughts to push them out.
