AFFAIRS- Do you tell the Other Spouse?

[25yearsmlc]

Endeavor

your sitch was Unusual b/c the OW was nutty and possibly dangerous. Her h needed to know. She was just wacky.

She actively pursued your h even after being exposed so, unlike an Affair that is over, you had an ongoing reason to act.

Also, your motives were pretty darn clean.

I think most cases of "exposing to 3rd parties" are wrong b/c they just enable people to punish more and they don't even see it that way. They are so upset and angry they cannot rationally see how damaging their news can be.

But in YOUR Sitch, I could see it both ways, but I favored you saying something also to help keep her away from your family...and b/c I think she is unstable.

You never know...out of the blue, my bil acted like a real jerk for months. I thought my sister was going to leave him...then he had a seizure while driving, and it turns out he had a brain tumor. (He lived 11 years and most of them were good years but I will never forget how we suddenly saw a goofy idiot, only to learn later that he was just really very sick).

Your h's OW struck me as a very sick woman who was potentially dangerous...so you had to do what you did.