The counseling he is doing is with a specialized VA counselor that only deals with PTSD, so we were lucky that he was able to get with someone like that. He doesn't need medication, he is going more to learn relaxation techniques. He was having some anxiety issues with hypervigilance and some panic attacks in large groups. I already can tell where that has been reduced a lot. He definitely has effects from it, but it is a more manageable form of PTSD. He isn't having the bad dreams and flashbacks, etc. I tried to find a support group, but the closest one is 2 hours away from where we live. I have been reading a lot on the internet and some books on it to learn how to deal with it from a wives perspective. He is very open with me about it and we are able to talk about when he is having an episode, so I feel like I am blessed in that area. So many other wives are having a hard time even getting their husbands to recognize they are having issues. My biggest concern is it can affect trust and the people closest to the person can get pushed away, which would be me, so I feel like while we have issues in our marriage that need work, he has found it easier to push away due to that. I mentioned that one time to him, and it wasn't recieved well, so it isn't something I can talk to him about.
I am trying to GAL right now. It's still not very exciting for him to see though. I am working on cleaning out the house, preparing a nursery, working my consignment booths and cleaning out our storage units, and trying to plan fun things to do with the kids. We live in a small town, so there isn't a lot of extra things to do or get involved in unless you drive somewhere else. I have been walking a lot and my appearance has taken a huge 180, which is good for me. I had really let a lot go, and just the other day he came in and told me how skinny I was getting and proceeded to come over and turn me around and tell me I was doing a good job. That was nice to hear at 6 months pregnant! Lol
It's hard, because we literally are best friends, but he has really took it back to best friends and I am feeling a lot more. I know not to show it though, because that causes him to get upset and he has to tell me again his giant divorce plan that he has decided for our family. It is really surreal how we are living right now. The past couple of days have been awful emotionally. Today I did good in his eyes, but I feel like I have been through a blender.
I know I have to be prepared for this to go a long time. He tries to talk every 4 or 5 days though, and it seems like the happier I am with him, the worse the talk is. He wants to be around us all the time and hang out, be with us, but if I show I like it too much he feels like he has to make sure I get the whole divorce talk again. It is hard. And it's not because I walk around talking about the future, etc., he just is a mess and I guess if I'm not a mess, he feels like he isn't driving his point home.
M 36 H 36 D9,S6, Expecting D in August 2012 M 13 T 18 Told me he wanted to separate 12/31/2011 Moved Out 2/2/2012 Didn't want to work on things, wanted divorce 4/20/2012
