I haven't had a chance to take stock, but will do later in the week.
The bad news is it's nearly that time of the month and I'm breaking out in a few acne cysts on my chin - 3 big bright red ones! Not good. No matter now much make-up I put on to conceal them or deaden down the redness, they just manage to come through. Arghhhh!
What does this have to do with anything?
My H came over today to help me pack. I felt so self-conscious because of these THINGS! He was graceful enough not to mention anything.
So, we got on with the packing, and my god it was pretty heart wrenching. Naturally, we were clearing out old shelves and files, and came across quite a few old photos, notes we had written to each other over the years, stories of when we acquired such and such furniture. I have to say I'm very very proud of myself for holding it together. I did shed a few tears privately though.
You know what I kept thinking? I kept thinking, "I hope she was worth it!!!!" and "When I find out who it was, I'm going to ruin her reputation and she'll wish she was never born!!" Then, of course I started thinking about all the friends who have probably been supportive of him 'moving on'. Then I thought, Well, it was him too..he's not all innocent and naive either. I told myself, "All in good time, all in good time."
I really did have to hold onto my tongue at the beginning of this process. Not exactly a saint though, I did manage to let slip a comment that I nearly regretted. He was talking about a friend of his and his wife who went to a gallery and talked about some artist. I said, "That's really nice that he shares those experiences with his wife. It's a very good thing for him to do." My resentment got the better of me. He diffused it quickly.
So, we got on with clearing stuff out, but first we got the supplies. I put my shoes on and as we walked out and said, "Those are new shoes." I said, "Yea, they are." Gosh, he is noticing things these days. Like last week I got my hair cut - only an inch came off, and he said, "You got a haircut." So, he notices things suddenly - or maybe he always did but never said anything before?
Anyway, we threw so much crap away. It was hard to speak - I just got on with it. So did he. He asked if I wanted to take both cats. I said I could only take 1 with me since that's what the lease allows. It's still up in the air - I'd like both as they keep each other company and I love both of them. But my new landladies might get upset - so I don't know what I'll do.
At our half-way break, we got talking about one of our earlier places we lived in. I said something innocent, and he nearly jumped down my throat about it - basically his resentment got the better of him. I diffused it quickly.
We got through the bulk of the work. I asked him if he would be around on Thursday with the actual move (originally he kind of sounded annoyed that he would have to take time off of work, so, at that time, I didn't push it).
Today, he offered to come to my new place to help me set up the wifi/hifi/TV/speakers, help set me up with the furniture and so forth. That was a pleasant surprise. I was getting myself psyched up to have to resort to adrenalin shots to do it all myself on Thursday.
It took about 5 hours of the two of us working virtually non-stop to get through it all.
At the end, we sat in the kitchen drinking iced tea. He said, "That was really tough." and he came to hug me. We both cried.
I thanked him for helping me.
He suggested he come by again tomorrow to give me my stuff and to finish off the job we started (recycling center etc.)
He eventually left. When he got to his home, he said, "Need some escape - it was pretty heavy and sad today and when I got back."
