Kimmerze, You may never get the entire truth from him. Why? Because even he doesn't really know at this time why he's so screwed up and w/the ow.
Getting his love tank filled by the ow has nothing to do w/him being kind and friendly towards you. There are quite a few out there that are totally alone and haven't hooked up w/someone else and have exhibited the same flip flop behavior. A lot of of what happens w/him emotionally is his environment. If something sets him off prior to him seeing or speaking to you, you will be the one to get the spew, etc. Understand this...the ow is nothing more than a "fxck buddy". That person is feeding him a bunch of bs all of the time and I can venture to say that the dew is not off of that rose yet, i.e., the honeymoon stage is not over w/the two of them.
MLC does not run in chronological order. The person experiencing it can be in multiple stages at one time. They will experience all of the stages one last time before entering acceptance and even then, they can have a "tinge" of depression. However, your h is no where near acceptance because he's just now really getting ready to spread his wings because of the divorce. He's not hit the divorce euphoria stage, but that stage will last about 6-9 months and then down into the depression pit once again. Yes, he might feel a bit sorry for what he's done, but it's not enough to pull him completely out of the crisis.
The best advice that I can give you is not to listen to others. Form your own opinions of what really went on in your marriage. Every marriage has its ups and downs and you do have two beautiful children that now need your focus. Turn your stbxh over to God and allow him to work on him. It's now time for you to place your focus on you, your life and your childen, one step at a time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
