I don't think you "work through" emotions. You let them rise up and you let them be guides.
Why do I feel "guilty"? We look at that.
Why do I feel "angry"? What needs to be protected? Restored?
For example, last night it took me 3 hours to put D to bed. Three! I wanted me time. I was exhausted after my week. Ex-BF contributes to this problem with her sleep. I was ANGRY! So I asked myself "what needs to be protected" (my sleep and D's bedtime) and restored (My ownership as mom and power to speak up when people are messing with her schedule, my sense of grounding). And so I had a boundary, I litterally breathed the anger out of me into my boundary and I acknowledged my own feelings and self-soothed a bit.
If you want to call that "working through" I guess. But that's a small example of what I'm talking about.
Looking at it. Acknowledging it, seeing what it's here to tell you, and maybe heeding that. Getting support, talking it through, being in your own boundary and soothing, talking to the inner child from an adult place. All those things.
Rage and fury are a little different - but that's also address in this book. Would probably be very helpful for May.
She is giving all her power over to her husband, and she's pissed. Yeah. She's suffered boundary violations both of him to her and her to him.
Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
Good stuff, ESN.
So from a practical perspective, what do you feel that DIM should actually DO to work through this anger?
DIM's emotional distress is showing up as emotional anger which is getting translated into physical violence and verbal attacks and outbursts.
What do you feel she should she actually DO?
DIM, what do you feel you might do when it feels like those emotions are about to explode in you? IF you are still feeling them in uncontrollable ways...
