May, as to your first post, I think you have to let go. Letting go does not than assume control of what may happen after, but what good is holding on to your feelings right now? Are you afraid that you'll be ... (how? FILL IN THE BLANK) toward H? If you let go of expectations? I understand, and I totally think you should.
But then that'll be the truth. Of your relationship. Not a relationship with you blowing sunshine into it or trying to revive it. You can then sit and observe the truth. And who knows what it'll be.
Is that freeing?
Also, As far as saying "over and over" I think if he's not listening, behavior (for you) is next.
So do you think he had a PA?
And if he did, you're out?
And if his sexual withdrawl is due to depression or hormones, you will rush to his side in support?
Just being clear.
I think what you are trying to "prove" to him you cannot prove.
It's his business. Stay in yours.
Do what you need to do. Stop trying to have puppet strings on him - it's blurring the truth.
When I stepped all the way back, May, my ex-BF wouldn't even call his daughter. I put all that there - I did all the work FOR HIM. Now, just these past couple weeks, I pulled so far back - I can see the truth. He does very very very little. And that is the truth. I'm seeing it clearly. I'm not trying to make him get tests or prove to him that it'll be this way with anyone. It will. But he's gotta find that out. And he will I trust that.
I trust that.
