The kids wake me up early this morning, W is still sleeping. While making coffee, I can plainly see the folded love notes to OM are still in her school bag.
On her way to her breakfast meeting she has every Sat. morning, she casually takes the bag with her as if it was her purse. As if I wouldn't notice.
I'm not sure why I expected anything different from W other than continued secrecy, deceit, and anguish after she saw the search history for 'i found a love letter'. Wishful thinking on my part.
Very not detached this morning. Massive and uncentered anxiety about this. (I felt very good for about 2 days, but since she saw the search history...wham.) I feel oddly guilty, like *I'm* the one hiding something.
Disappointed. I don't feel very angry at all. I feel this strange empathy for what she must be going through and it makes me feel sad. And I'll be spending the day again with W and the kids.
The universe continues to unfold as it should, but unfortunately it feels like it's unfolding in my gut.
(formerly crushd) Married 14 yrs M41/W43/D7/S4 M: MLC, major depression/W: WAW Bomb 2/26/12, 2 days before anniversary Detachment, Grown Apart, "I love you like the father of my children", EA/PA?
