as a sometimes moderator * I have NEVER been told/asked to promote a darn thing, in fact, quite the opposite, I've been asked to be helpful to newcomers. As my family would say, 'bingo bob'--which means, that's it. If I recommend a coach/coaches, it's because I have inside knowledge to the cost/benefit ratio. I KNOW their qualifications and the cost, and the cost of other counseling. I KNOW the quality of advice on the board--since 1/2001.
* I have been successful despite myself. A good deal of you are far BETTER DBers than me. I UNDERSTAND the principles ... DOING them... in the early years was sooooooooooo tough for me. But it came full circle. And I have been in an incredibly loving, successful relationship for a few years now.
The 'DB techniques' that worked for me:
* The Last Resort Technique that's because when I screw up, I screw up so big I get to this level. But, I learned to back off. I am the WORST...It took me forever to learn to back off. Michele said 'don't give yourself an out....'
* Vary the What/Where/When/Who this is major for us, our arguments are predictable...and therefore avoidable
And also '...don't think he will do a complete overhaul for you just because he loves you...'
Those things were major to me. I 'got it' immediately when she said it. IMPLEMENTING IT took so much longer because .... I don't know why, it just did. Some folks are able to implement quickly.
* I was asked to be a moderator because: I UNDERSTAND; I CARE; I'M LOYAL
* LOYAL/AKA DB SAVED ME....AKA MICHELE/DB SAVED 'ME'/MY LIFE
--I was divorced w/2 small children and came to DB 2 relationships later --I had read a lot of relationship books, met with counselors, etc. I was a hot mess in this relationship that had ended...and I didn't see how I could go on living, but didn't want my kids to deal with the consequences... --DB is logical/CLEAR with ACTION ITEMS / measurables (and I was so not an action item measurable person then, but everything seemed foggy. This REALLY helped. --MICHELE IS NO-NONSENSE --my posters cared, and gave me great advice --my FIRST POSTER and most loyal: AUSTRALIAN/MICK no longer around --my other great VETS from a LONG time ago: JAMESJOHN, KentS (I took Keeping Love Alive seminar due to his experience. I went with wintergirl), inmyplace, Phoenix (aka Fee), gbon.
* My favorite DB RESOURCES...in this order:
--Keeping Love Alive (hands down,Seminar and audio) --Getting Through to the Man You Love --Divorce Remedy (Divorce Busting, upgraded) --The Marriage Breakthrough
--Divorce Busting (my first)
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
