One thing you mentioned which really struck me is that you are no longer friends with mutual friends. Were those friends initially his friends?
Back to your post.
Look you are a beautiful woman and a great mother. Dont wallow in feeling sorry for yourself, "why is H going for her and not for me?" Its not about other womans looks or personality. I believe WA husbands in particular want to WANTED in a sexual way.
Your H is attracted to being WANTED. My H POW worships my H, even before anything was going on, she treated him like he was Gods gift. That is what he wants. That is what you didnt give him.
Your exbff seems to be so stereotypically an other woman type. I HATE HER. I HATE what she does to woman. She makes me very angry.
But you are not like you. You have values and you love and respect yourself. You need to emphasize that you are an independent woman. Take a class, get really into fitness, learn guitar, do things that you exBFF would never ever do because she is too busy being a man-pleaser.
if your H was into you for being strong willed and independent he will like that again in you. But you need to be it. You need to go out there and do something cool. This will require you to pay for more babysitting and incur other costs but you need to do it.
Have you gone to Alanon yet?
No more excuses!
He needs to find fault with you all the time cause he needs to justify his horrendous actions. Its like they are yelling "You left the the cap off the toothpaste and I cant take it anymore, its over!!" Its completely ridiculous. When your H sulks at you dont react just say "la di da" to yourself, "how silly is he." Sometimes I go to the bathroom for a minute and regroup.
This is the hardest thing in the world to go through. You are amazing for not losing you cool on him everyday and telling him to go f. off. That is what a normal person would do.
What would you do if 5 months ago your H was diagnosed with cancer and after a 5 months of chemo the scan showed that the tumors had spread? Would you give up?
Enjoy everyday with your perfect children. Spend money on yourself.
Love you:)
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
