STB-45yo, -----divorced, Father of 2 wonderful children.
I was 40 when my darling little MLCer .......... R-U-N-N-O-F-T
Lookin for answers I suppose.
Why was I successful ?
I would suppose that successful varies from person to person, depending on what their version is. In retrospect, I wasn't very happy before the bomb. Life had became very mundane , and I was looking for happiness everywhere, except where I should have been looking for it. The daily pain that I felt afterward , was mostly caused by myself. My fears had actually become a goal that I worked toward, and until I realized that they were MY fears, and overcome them, then I would remain in that pattern that I had set for myself.
I learned that working through those fears, and staring them down, was the only way to go through such an amazingly painful period of self-growth and awareness within myself, for myself, and by myself. I learned that I HAD to overcome those things in order to be of any use to myself, or my children.
I see myself as a success, because even though I am Divorced, I still honor my vows. I have let go of the anger, the fears, the control. I can balance that with the new relationship that I am in, and can define who I am for myself, and within my relationship. I am a man that is capable of making better choices and decisions that affect the people I love.
Things that I learned DBing...
I learned that there are a million ways to climb a hill, and what is right for one person, may not be right for another...
I learned that most people don't have the burning desire to be "right", as much as they have a burning desire to be heard...
I learned (finally) the difference between Lance, Cadet, and Old Pilot..... : )
I learned that everyone's opinion counts. Some toward the better, some toward the worse...
I learned that I will never stop growing emotionally, and that I learn something every day. Usually from a place where I least expect it to come from...
I learned that Starsky and I actually agree on much more than each of us thinks we do.... : )
I learned that Virginia really doesn't like outside links , and will "ban" pretty quickly. (especially to certain websites)...
I learned that Virginia is a forgiving person, and practices DB very well.......
I learned that "honoring your vows" doesn't have anything to do with your spouse...
I learned that having an argument on the internet, is a futile waste of time and headspace...
I learned that LostPhil...may still be lost...
I learned the difference between the two LRT's listed, and that the one in DB isn't the same as the one in DR...
I learned that I would rather have one or two friends that really tell me the truth, than to have a thousand friends that will blow sunshine up my backside....
I learned that those one or two....may not be who you think that they are....
I learned that some people just want to be angry, and really enjoy being a victim of another's choices....no matter how hard one tries to help them....
Ohhh.....and I learned what love really means, what friendship really means, what trust really means, what forgiveness really means....
What DB tools did I use ???
-180 -GAL -Being Banned -48 hour rule ( which SHOULD be in the book ) -Being Re-instated -cheeseless tunnels -setting boundaries -going dark, and LRT
Vets ?
Wow, such a hard list.....and I know that you said current posters.
I just hate to see such wisdom from such wonderful people get buried in the archives.....
I would have to say, that my first Thank You, would be to.......
Forrest Gump...
I learned a lot from reading that guy....
Then, in no particular order..... (and if I left you out, I apologize)....
Chocolate eyes ; ) Bworl Jeanette1120 Kikifree Sofaraway AmyC Faithisbelieving Frank_D Lissett Figgy (Figgeroni ) BegginnersMind/Brooklyn/Brookie Fisherman/Trapt Jimbo Cat04 The Pirate The Brokeback Cowboy (Gritter) CD Bear Ericmsant2 MHL Punktman Seeking Answers AJM Mr Bond Drew
I would recommend searching the archives, and reading from any of these people....
There are some really great posters here now too....
