I'm glad to see that you've done a good job of getting your composure and detachment back, after this setback. I was afraid this might happen, because, despite going to Retrouvaille, your H didn't seem as if he had come far enough in his own journey.
It's true about leaving them in God's hands--if you truly turn them over to God, then continuing to try to "control" the outcome suggests you're questioning your decision/God's ability. Plus, you need to be ready to accept that things may not go exactly as you were hoping.
Also, snooping will not get you where you want to be, partly because you really cannot gauge what significance to put on anything you uncover--only your H can do that, but he doesn't sound ready to be completely honest with himself (or you).
When my H contacted OW again after several months of no contact, it led to greater feelings of guilt than he'd had before, and sent him into the Depression stage, so in that way it helped him move along.
