KD, I get it - though I do think she's angry. I thought that zillions of posts ago and everyone came down on me. I'm just going to hold steady on that hunch. And suggest she read from this book. It is powerful and even address that anger can be the emotion (that there doesn't always have to be something underlying).
I'm sure there could be fear there - fear of loss, fear of facing self, taking ownership, responsibility, growing up, etc. (not saying these are true for DIM, just examples) but I think the anger is a powerful teacher and it especially comes in handy around setting boundaries - which I believe May could use - a boundary inside which she can work out her anger (without that kind of expression of it) and ask herself "what needs to be restored" "What needs to be protected"
