Thank you Lotus. Yes I have read the book. I learned alot form it.
We get along fine when he is home. He lives in another state due to work. He is some affectionate when i engage first. He however is very playful. Almost like a kid. He will walk up behind me sometimes and hug and kiss me. BUT always playfully.
Over the phone is where we have the most prbs. When I try talking to him about how he feels, he get very angry and tells me thats just the way he is. I asked him tonight why he couldnt express his feelings or say i love you back instead of ditto.....always says ditto. He got upset and said i was badgering him. We have been together almost three yrs. He started showing his true self a yr into it. and Yes he's right, I know this is how he is. I just dont understand why he cant every now and then say hey i love you or anything on his own without me saying it first or asking him.
Tonight I asked him why he ignores my texts when i say i love you. Over the phone he will say ditto. He said i needed to grow up and get over myself. Once again he said i was pushing him. He says he doesnt need to hear that or talk to me everyday. He says he does love me but wishes i wasnt so needy.
We went to counseling once. Didnt seem to help. Like i said, we get along fine if i dont ask him the why questions. He has no prb saying ditto. BUT i am getting tired of being the one to say it first. I know that sounds childish on my part. If i try to wait it out before getting off the phone, for example, if i say ok goodnight and pause he will not hang up, i will say r u gonna hang up. he says why dont you hang up then i will say r u waiting on me to say i love you first and so i do then he says ditto and laughs. such a child.
