I just read the last couple of pages of your thread, so I don't know much about your sitch. But one thing that really jumped out at me is the idea of different languages of love. Have you read the book on The Five Love Languages?
It is very simple really. The idea is that there are 5 different ways in which people express love to each other: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, physical touch. One of the ways to know what your language is is to see how you express love to others. You said that you want to be told that you are loved -- words of affirmation. And you said that you give love that way. But he doesn't. He is stingy with the words, and that makes you feel unloved.
Maybe he speaks a different love language. Maybe he speaks no love language. I'm not ruling that out! But the point is, that for you to feel loved, he needs to speak your language. And he doesn't.
People go to this therapist, Gary Chapman, to learn to speak the language the partner longs to hear. I'm not saying your guy would go, or that he couldn't learn it from reading the book. He might. but I think this is an important part of the hurt that you are feeling.
