"(that he would always love me, but couldn't be married to me anymore)"
I don't see that he wrote that in the card in your previous post. If he didn't actually write this in the card, then, that's alot of self-talk that is discouraging you.
If he did write that in the card, then I would have suggested that you calmly give him back his gift and tell him thank you for the thought, however since it was your anniversary the gift was not done in the spirit of that. Then just walk away.
You don't know how ripe the timing is for him to feel the loss of your right now. If he feels you slipping away he will come closer.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"(that he would always love me, but couldn't be married to me anymore)"
I don't see that he wrote that in the card in your previous post. If he didn't actually write this in the card, then, that's alot of self-talk that is discouraging you.
If he did write that in the card, then I would have suggested that you calmly give him back his gift and tell him thank you for the thought, however since it was your anniversary the gift was not done in the spirit of that. Then just walk away.
You don't know how ripe the timing is for him to feel the loss of your right now. If he feels you slipping away he will come closer.
No Mr. Bond he didn't say that. ;-)
I get what you're saying about him feeling the loss of me. However, my coach did not advise me to do that. If you have any idea how to be his girlfriend AND have him feel the loss of me, let me know. I haven't really tried either way (well, just trying the girlfriend thing now after a month of ignoring the coach's suggestions LOL).
What is is you really want Ro? There's something else there.
You're right. I don't know he hasn't budged. What I really want is for my H to stop acting like he just landed from Mars. But since that probably won't happen anytime soon, I'm not sure what I want right now.
I suck at limbo anything. For me, something usually is one way or the other (either it is or it isn't). I know me seeing things as black or white does not work for my husband. He's definitely a more grey, purple, blue kind of person.
He bought u a dozen of your favorite roses, told you he loves you, and you watched a movie together. Those types of things are not common on these boards.
I know we are not their and can't fully understand the tone and temperature of your sitch but these seem like positives to me.
Is it that he's not living up to your expectations? Are you angry that you are working so hard on you for your m and he hasn't reciprocated?
I recall some other recent positives coming from him as well. I know this has seemed like forever but in the grand scheme of things 4 months is not that long.
Look deeper and get back to us RoRo!!
((R))
I think I need to remember that we are "separated" and not really together, so the stuff he used to do on special occasions probably won't happen.
He does think that I am never satisfied with anything he does. Which is probably true. My expecations for other people are always mostly over the top. I am working on realizing that people are human and no one is perfect. I think because so many people let me down when I was younger, in my head I feel like if I finally let down my wall and let them in, they need to live up to that. When they don't, it shakes me to my core.
Rather than going dark, how about going dim? For example, when you were sitting and watching the movie with him, did you sit together? Were you touching each other, etc.? I'm talking about just light touches and not a full make out session.
Honestly, "Couples Retreat" may have been a better choice to watch than Rango for your anniversary. Just sayin'.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Rather than going dark, how about going dim? For example, when you were sitting and watching the movie with him, did you sit together? Were you touching each other, etc.? I'm talking about just light touches and not a full make out session.
Honestly, "Couples Retreat" may have been a better choice to watch than Rango for your anniversary. Just sayin'.
Mr. Bond, yes we sat on the same couch, but not close together, and no touching. Although, my couch encouraged me to do that. Haven't worked the nerve yet though.
Since I basically went dim (and sometimes dark) in our M, the coach told me NOT to do that. We've seen Couples Retreat. Wanted to watch something we hadn't seen.
Is it the destination... or the journey... that matters...?
right now...?
It seems like you are anticipating and anxious to fast forward to the end credits... rather than enjoying the little things... the appetisers...
look for the little, positive, baby steps... rounding the bases... you have to get to home by rounding the bases one at a time... in order...
KD, OF COURSE I want to fast forward! One of the things I'm working on is enjoying the little things in life. Everything doesn't have to have a parade WITH floats to be positive. Its a hard thing for me to do.
