May, I might respectfully disagree with KD on the anger timeline. I love his advice, always, but I'm going to suggest reading the Chapter on Anger in the book the Language of Emotions. I might have mentioned it before. Anger repressed, no good- anger expressed, no good.
Anger is there to help us learn boundaries and take different actions. This is a huge opportunity for growth for you. Your anger is here to teach you something. Can you trust that?
The book is a bit wordy, but really talks about how to handle anger and that it will come up again and again. Just like any emotion.
It's like saying set a timeline on Joy, or Sadness, or Happiness - one emotion isn't good or bad - they just are. And they have messages. We learn from them. And we heal from them.
I think you're talking about setting boundaries in the rest of your post here, and you sound so much better when you do - stronger, in your power.
You are talking about "if he does this," I will "do this" and that is your boundary. You can be safe there knowing you are "out of here" (which I see as having a healthy limit to someone hurting you and getting away, doing something else, etc. taking care of yourself).
And then you said you can trust yourself in knowing if that happens. Beautiful! You trusting you! You taking care of you! And then detaching "I don't care what he does" - I'm here (but barely (you are detaching for your own sanity) - ring off, etc.) - and I am requesting this - a, b, c.
So now, as far as timelines. What timeframe are you giving him for this list of yours? And what if he doesn't comply?
Also, be careful with the ring off - don't do it for him to change. It's your boundary. It's for you to know your boundary is thicker and you are detached now - not to "show him something" - KWIM?
