Feeling better lately, that panicky feeling seems to be getting better but still having trouble not contacting W. Mostly by email and any phone contact is for kids.
I went to the house to give D a birthday card from my mother and stayed fairly upbeat. W told me that realtor contacted us about a showing tomorrow...I think that affected me a bit and I got a little cold. But, I got out of there pretty quick, however I may have sounded short...which is what my W says is part of my problem at times...seem distant and cold. I called the house after I left...made up some reason why and sounded very cheerful and happy (not actually too much of a lie) - to ask her a question about the yard and thanked W for being there for showing and that I appreciated it. Got the answering machine and still no call back...about an hour ago. Which confirms in my head that I was short and it showed. this is why space is pivotal...to keep from screwing up.
Have to really work on staying positive and upbeat...keep the contact to just the kids and stay mysterious. It is really hard to stay distant but keep that contact. I MUST stop any contact until she initiates it...just scared she won't...ugh.
Anyway...that's all for now.
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
