I know it seems like I'm not being consistent and I'm pretty sure that what you are saying about these emotions being a cycle and will probably change again a few times.
It's the cheating I'm really struggling with this week, I mean she's with the OM right now dancing with him. She openly tells me a few weeks ago that she's not going to stop dancing with him & doesn't care what I think. That has been replaying in my head over and over & it just makes me angry.
Even if things have cooled between them, I don't think I can get passed it while she still has contact with him, I'll never be able to begin to regain any trust for her while she carries on dancing with him.
I know what I want is to repair our M and stay together as a family, but I just can't see how I'm going to overcome this, without her breaking all contact, which she is not going to do.
The ML has been way more creative than it ever was even when we were 20 and that side of things is great. Although it's been nearly a week since we ML and that's probably got something to do with why I've been feeling so down.
Our wedding anniversary is the 30th next month & it is also the night of my graduation ball. My W was supposed to go with me, but doesn't want to now & even if I went with my friends, because of the date I won't be able to have a good time. This [censored]!! why can't you right sux without it getting censored? one of the reasons I took up ballroom dancing with my W was so that we could dance at this ball.
I think I'm just feeling a lack of motivation to DB this week & don't know if it's a lack of sex, my counselling session, the infidelity, UNI stress or a combo of all of this, that is just making me feel tired of it all.
I think I need to watch something motivational & snap out of this.
Thanks for the posts Bond , Ourboros
Bill
Me 34 W 32 D 9 S 6 M: 9 years T: 12 Bomb: 02/11/12 EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing Moved out: Oct 2012 Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13
