Do I just give in?

[Hurt84]

Yeah, autopilot is probably the best way to describe what our relationship was on.

A lot of me thinking about all this now is just looking back at things in retrospect. It started with me trying to understand the points she made about why she was unhappy, which are valid points. I take criticism pretty well, meaning I am able to see how I contribute to a problem and am willing to make the changes I can to resolve it. Whether it was because she thought she was always the one to plan what we did or we always did the same things or I was too complacent in my job - those are all types of things that have a compromise in there to be resolved. Despite that, she said she "didn't want to do this anymore." My reasoning of that is despite what she says how there is no relationship with OM, I know more than she realizes so I do believe that contributes to pulling her away.

At first I was in denial about everything that was going on when I found out about the OM. I didn't want to believe that it was more than just texting. I wanted to believe her when she said that it was "nothing" and just "entertainment". While I know she is ultimately responsible for the actions and decisions she made, the only thing I wonder is if because I wasn't more direct or didn't take more of a stand earlier, if it contributed to the A escalating to what it is now.

That question obviously has no bearings on our relationship going forward but it's the type of thing that leaves me to wonder "What if?"

As far as a status update: I'm still working on the friendly co-worker approach. Last night was the same deal with her "working" a little late. I didn't ask questions or pursue, I simply said, "Okay, if you think you need to do that then have fun" and left it at that. When she came home, she came to me to make our standard 15 minutes of small talk that we have since we had the separation talk. I actually think she went to see OM for a little bit but I'm not going to backslide and start looking into text messages, etc. I'm going on a week of not looking into any of that - at this point what is it going to tell me that I don't already know?

Tomorrow is when she takes this certification test for work that she's supposed to have been focusing on. We said when we had the separation talk that we'd pick everything up after the test...I'm still sorting out what my boundaries are going to be if/when she does move out.