I didn't see it coming part 2

[ouroboros]

I've started to notice more & more the way my W is short & speaks down to me. She conveys no respect or emotion for me & she is still a WAS and behaving like a (not a nice person)!

I've started to realise that she uses sex to keep the status quo, so she can keep on doing what she wants in this (dis)functional relationship.

I'm not in a situation where my WAW is ML'g with me, hell I hardly remember what sex feels like anymore, but I do have to seriously wonder if at the moment it is getting in the way of your detaching. You yourself mentioned earlier that you're just going through the motions, and now you're talking about how she's using your lust to control you.

I feel like throwing in the towel & walking away today, because besides protecting my kids from harm, I don't know why I'm trying to save this M.

I've been having exactly the same thoughts lately. I was getting really frustrated with myself and angry until it occurred to me that this is actually a positive sign--you're implicitly saying you realized you have a future beyond your current sitch no matter what. You're not saying 'why bother', your asking 'what if'.

I'm just going to keep on my own path of improvements & do what makes me happy. My kids happiness are still my priority, but I'm just having real trouble picturing a healthy relationship with my W again.

I don't know how I'll feel in the future, but right now, I want out and think that's where I'm headed. I'm not even bothered about being with someone else I'm just tired of being treated like a doormat and have had enough.

To your point, you can only change you--and you have control over your decision about where to set your boundaries.