Thank you so much for your support and kind and encouraging words, NLW! You are a good friend. There are probably several things from my past threads that you could cut and paste in your archives on what NOT to do as well! whistle If anyone has been able to gain anything of value from my posts, then the hardship has been worth it.

Forgiving can be so very difficult, as unfortunately, we just can't FORGET all the trauma we have been put through. I will be going along doing so well and then, boom, I'm served with a reminder and I feel like I go back to square one. I've learned how to deal with those feelings in positive, healthy ways as opposed to lashing out at my husband. I'm blessed that he is very open and willing to reassure me when I let the fear creep in. It's difficult since ow is someone I'm likely to run into on at least a weekly basis, and sadly, she is the type of person who feels no regret for her actions; in fact, she enjoys gloating about the pain she brought me. I have to work on not being her victim and not giving her any control. And I have to remind myself that if God loves me so very much that He gave his Son to die on the cross for my many sins -- offering me complete forgiveness -- who am I to hold grudges against other people? It's not always easy to remember or practice that, but I do my best.

I am hopeful that time+consistency on my husband's part, as well as consistency in the changes I've made, will indeed help the fear, anger and pain fade in time. While there is much value in learning from the past, there is none in staying stuck there...life is short, so we need to get to living for TODAY!

aka lc4 : )