Par... not sure if you've maybe looked at it this way...
While she has an addiction... and you DO appear to understand that as much as you care about her, you cannot save her... that is something only she can do...
that you TOO have an addiction... which is her...
And so while you know it's not good to enable her... you continue to do so.
I haven't read, but have you checked out any groups such as Al-Anon or coda meetings?
She looked again to you to get her fix... however that might work for you... including begging you to take her back and be in a R again... even having sex with you... (that's called "whoring" BTW)... and when you laid down your boundaries, as you mention, sounds like she got her fix elsewhere...
She sounds deep in it and on a real wild ride right now. And as you describe it, while it may not be outwardly as dramatic as you describe it... it certainly is inwardly, to you... to her... and to anyone who involved with her...
We had one tragedy here last year when a member's spouse committed suicide. No matter how much the member was on suicide watch or knew of the possibility... it happened... I don't want to scare you because there's nothing you could do about preventing it... I'm just trying to point out to you that her death could be a possible outcome of this tragic life she is living...
Save yourself, my friend... start with you... what can you do to pick yourself up and get yourself and your life on an emotionally healthy track?
We can't help or support someone else, if we aren't healthy and stable ourselves...
