May, a few quick things and I'll write more later -
The person who would say those things - and I'm dealing with this in therapy now - is called a person dealing in "verbal reality" - they say things that make them feel good and that is enough - they don't have to follow through and it confuses people around them (I deal with this in my ex-BF - i.e., "Do you want me to get you guys a swing set for the back yard? I'll get one and set it up.") (At this point, I know it'll never happen - he says it b/c it makes him feel like a good guy to say it).
Remember - behavior.
So, for instance, what happened with the joint checking?
He said it and then what? Was there talk about follow-through? Okay, let's open one this weekend after lunch? Does he expect you to go out and do it? (Well, with joint, I think you both have to be there).
What does that look like?
Just for your own sanity - remember VERBAL REALITY and BEHAVIORAL REALITY
So we know what he's SAYING but what's he been DOING? (Answer this if you can -) differently?
