i'm hurting so much tonight... i'm not even sure what to say..

the past 6 months have tested me to my very limits. and i don't know if i can do it anymore.

i realize in this DB world.. people will say that 6 months is nothing compared to the years that they stay standing.. but when you find yourself slipping.. and dying slowly inside.. do you stay?

for me, DB was about finding myself and i believe i have. i have learned that i am a loving, strong, compassionate woman who loves with her entire being... even in the midst of my pain, it kills me to watch H struggling and hurting my mind says.. he chose this.. this is the consequence.. and my heart says.. i don't want you to hurt anymore.

i don't even want to say anything else right now. it seems that there are so many of us struggling and i feel very invisible right now. it makes me feel so self involved to write about my situation because.. really.. is it any different from anyone else's?

Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11