Thank you all for the "thumbs up." Kimmerz, to answer your question, my H said nothing. I have often wondered if he just puts the phone down when I'm talking. When we're arguing he has plenty to say, but when I'm controlled and unemotional he seems to listen (note to self). Something has been puzzling me since yesterday. I thought it was odd that my H referred to US saving money. He has to pay me what he's legally required to so it really doesn't benefit him to refinance. Last Friday our blow out was over the amount his attorney estimated that he would be paying me each month which was quite a bit lower than my attorney estimated. Anyway, at no point yesterday did he say anything about making it easier for me to afford the mortgage. He only referred to us paying less. I'm also wondering about a conversation that he had with our accountant between Friday and yesterday. I know the accountant has felt badly about our separation and had told me that he wanted to talk to my H. He's divorced and remarried and said he would definitely try to persuade others from that choice. A while back I posted about the lack of mentors in our communities. Well, I'm so glad that the accountant tried to be one to both my H and me. I don't know that he got through to my H, but it sure is interesting that Friday he was spewing, then he met with the account, followed by his initiative to refinance the house at absolutely no benefit to him unless we stay together. I guess I'm just looking for even the slightest bit of hope. Regardless, I'm standing firm with NC. After re-reading parts of Love Must Be Tough I realize that pulling back and expecting respectful treatment is my best chance for reconciliation, and even more important, rebuilding my self-esteem.
