Husband of 4 years (together 8) said IDLY two weeks ago. I am devastated. He's depressed and seeing an individual therapist. Yesterday was our first couples counseling session, very painful. I think our issues are significant but can be worked out. I'm not sure he feels that way. I don't know how seriously he is considering leaving. He seems to want to set up as many couples therapy session as possible (he wanted 2 per week but the therapist could only do 1x per week), which seems hopeful. Also today he said something like "I didn't say I was going to leave!" but I know from the forum that you can't believe anything they say.
I read Divorce Remedy and have been trying to follow the suggestions, been giving space and doing GAL. I guess I'm doing the LRT right now? Very confused about how to follow the suggestions here while also doing couples therapy (I broke down today in therapy, whereas the book says to try to be smiling all the time). One of our problems is that I don't show enough affection, but I'm very confused about how to begin this when I'm trying to detach and give him space. My gut says giving space is the right thing right now. At therapy when he talked about our problems there was a lot of venom in his tone. Not sure if that will ever go away, it seems like it's been like that for months (years?)
I think the GAL steps are working out okay so far. Is there anything else I should be doing/not doing? We agreed to not talk about the relationship unless in the counseling session. How do you live in the same house with someone under these conditions? Do you interact day-to-day? Do you avoid each other?
