Stuck in Holding Pattern

[ben11]

and or, your purpose in filing it. Is it a last ditch attempt to wake her up?

IF SO, know that it might not. But IF she does look your way or continue in counselling of some sort

what do you think YOU could do differently? It's important you look within b/c the real journey in life is an inward one.

I believe I mentioned my reasons for filing it. Is it a last ditch effort. Yes and know. If it wakes her up, great. If not, and she agrees to it, I'm getting some closure and security in my life.

As for what I could do differently, I'm not really sure at this point. I supposed I could just lay it out on the table. I could write her a letter to let her know that I understand how we got here, that I will forgiver her, and that she's the most special thing in my life, and all I want is to be together and prove to her how special she is to me. That the mistakes I've made will never happen again.

I mean what do I have to lose at this point. I'm already ready to sign a SA. But then what does it really accomplish... will it send her back into my arms? No. Would my boundaries change about OM? No, they wouldn't.

I get that I may not have been at this long enough, but everyone has their own threshold. I feel like I'm peaking at mine.

Okay, that's all for now. I feel like I'm just rambling at this point. Not even sure this all makes sense...