Funny you brought up arranged marriages. After what i(and my W) have been through: I hate arranged marriages. 11 years ago, i did not know any better. I think they work with the indian population because we are taught not to question authority(although this has changed leaps and bounds in the last few years). Almost every indian couple i know hangs onto the R because they will become pariahs in the community if they file for D. Even though my wife was born and raised in the US, i guess the culture never leaves you.
In a way, i know that my W wants to come back because she knows that she too will face the same situation. Even though she has given me some really good reasons she is coming back, i think the pariah thing is at the back of her mind. I have decided to accept her coming back as good and work with it. This one year has taught me how to let things go. truly let them go without them bothering you.
When this 'not having feelings for her' came up in my head, i had to be honest and went digging whether i ever had this "madly in love" feeling for my wife. It pains to say it, but i never did. My feeling was more of an "attachment" thing with my wife. That is why i went crazy when she filed. I lost my foundation. Now when i look back, that filing for D was a blessing in disguise.
I have grown a lot emotionally during this time and i genuinely want to fall in love with her again. A strong push for me is that fact that we do connect with each other in a lot of ways. And for the sake of my daughter.
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
