Retrouvaille Bound!!! (time for a new thread! )

[jlove]

Thank you Ben! I know how that "friendship" with OM can feel and make you not who you want to be. The best advice I can give to you is to focus on you, and do your best to forget about OM. I know it's a heck of a lot harder to do, trust me.

I say this because he is truly a symptom of the illness in your relationship right now. If you fix the R, he's not an issue. I know this is easier said than done.

If you can get her to RV, you will begin to deal with your and her feelings, and she'll have to look into all that. In my sitch, since RV, we've only been focused on US. OM hasn't come up YET (I decide to trust her when she says she's no communication). We are dealing with our feelings. In my sitch, my W knows she made mistakes, I've made mistakes and we have to forgive.

We also have to rebuild trust in one another, so that issue is here. I have Decided to give her my trust (along with my love, of course), so with that is a boundary. Does that make sense?

I am more at peace than I've been in months, because I'm focused on me and my feelings which I control, and my wife mostly feels the peace and it allows US to heal in a positive way. For emotional me, this is a 180 wide as the Grand Canyon. I'm no fool to think it'll always be easy, but if I can be at peace and just worry about that and smoothing the road, that is at least half the battle.