Do I just give in?

[Hurt84]

I think I can do that. It might not be a change overnight but I bet that has the best effect so I'm going to try for it. Last night was the start so hopefully I can follow through.

In the meantime, I was thinking last night about the time period leading up to when I found out about her OM. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, W works later than me most nights during the week but it wasn't always like that. When she used to have stay later than normal and it started to become more regular than not I used to joke with her that we starting to become roommates. We'd both laugh about it at first but after a while she started to get annoyed that I was always ragging on her for working later or doing more than she should - she never gets compensated for the extra work she does so I would get bothered because I felt she was being taken advantage of.

Anyway, back to the time period leading up to me finding out about the OM. On the surface everything seemed normal; we were getting along great, both keeping busy with work as we normally were, and both looking forward to the coming months because we both enjoy the warmer months with doing things on the weekends outside, etc. But what's funny is that, and I think I may have picked up on it at the time, was that we started to go our own separate ways in a way. I'd come home from work, do what I needed to do, we'd chat for a few minutes and then I'd go watch TV downstairs or whatever I was off doing. Same with her. It wasn't necessarily a problem, she'd watch her more feminine TV shows and I'd watch what I wanted, but it was something that I started to pick up on and I was going to talk to her about it, without the "roommate" joke. This also wasn't entire uncommon for us but it was never anything that was always happening everyday. That's what spooked me about it.

Right around then is when I noticed things really change with her, specifically when she started staying up way later than normal - like 11, 12, 1 in the morning. That's what tipped me off to something being up because she would always make it a point to go to bed early so she had enough sleep before starting the next day. After a few days of that, I brought it up over dinner and asked her if everything was alright. She just said there was a lot going on at work and she was having trouble sleeping. I guess that answer wasn't enough for me - she always had a lot going on at work - and the next day is when I found the texts to OM. I then looked at the cell phone bill and saw that those nights she was up late she was really texting with OM. The rest is history.

Anyway, it was something I've been thinking about - where or when did things go wrong? I might never really get the answer to that.