I understand the 37 rules and am working real hard at adhering to them. All contact is mainly due to the kids...but there is an email every now and then...sending jokes mainly but every now and then I break down to let her know how devoted I am to her and the kids. I know this is wrong...but I just have this horrible fear that if I cut off all connection that she'll feel better about this decision and follow through with a D.

What's the best way to GAL but also keep that connection? I just wish I could see some glimmer of hope in her...right now...even though we're cordial and friendly...R-wise, nothing...it hurts real bad.

Me:44, W: 39
D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs)
M:17, T:21+
Bomb:3/18/12
W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12
Separate since bomb
Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12
No talk of D since mediation