My W had text me saying that she missed me and wanted to see if I'd be free for dinner last night (Sunday), as it's been two weeks since we'd seen one another. I agreed to get some dinner with her.
As she has the last two times we've seen each other in the 6 weeks since she moved out, I was greeted with a wonderful embrace. Conversation was generally light and playful (there was a lot of laughing). She brought up the M, and frankly, I think we discussed the relationship more than we should have.
There were many confusing messages I took out of this meeting. For instance, she admitted to lightly "stalking" me on social media (always wanting to see where I am, who I am with or what I am doing). She tells me several times she misses me so much and thinks about me every day. Hopes that we do work out.
Then she tells me she's just not sure what the next step is, that she's trying to figure out how she feels. Tells me she's thinking about going off the pill (to which I said "that tells me you have no interest in resuming a marriage with me right now.)
She also keeps talking about how she wants to see me again next weekend and how difficult it is to go home alone. I'm 99.99% sure there is not another man. I just can't see how that's even feasible right now. Oh, one other interesting discussion topic last night - the wedding ring. She's still wearing hers. I took mine off when she left. She feels hurt by this since I'm "putting it out there that we are separated." I said no, if I wanted to put it out there, I'd change my relationship status on Facebook. And that I am indeed legally married but am not in a marriage.
Through this dinner, we laughed a lot and had fun. There were touches, kisses and long gazes into each others eyes. There is chemistry though the the sex struggle has been a major, of not the major, issue in our M for the last year.
I'm trying to create an environment where she sees what's she's potentially losing, and wants to get back into MC together.
I see our MC tonight (alone). I'd like to get my W back in counseling but dont feel I should broach the subject. If there is one word that describes this entire situation to me it's "confusion." I am just so confused.
