Well ... I'm back

[tpc1977]

Here's the thing; I know my daughter. I know exactly what she's capable of and what she's not. My daughter ran a 5K (3.2mile) race once in under 36 minutes. She's run three of them actually. One by herself and 2 with me.

I also know that since my daughter was an infant that she has the idea in her head that if she really cries hard enough she can MAKE herself throw up. We'd go to restaurants and if she didn't want to get in a highchair she'd cry until she threw up in front of everyone. Even at the age of 12 she thinks this is a way of getting her way. She is really really stubborn It's been an issue for as long as I can remember. I know it. Her mother knows it. Her sister knows it. Everyone does. It's also caused a lot of problems at home because when we tell the oldest daughter to do something she does it - though with a little agitation. When we tell this little girl to do something ... excuse, complain, cty, kick, beg, cry, throw up ... get out of it. Because of this the oldest girl has built a lot of resentment over the years saying that her younger sister gets out of everything she doesn't want to do.

Now I'm in the middle of it trying to get my youngest to understand that she will eventually have to face reality. No longer are there going to be tears and gagging to get out of things she doesn't want to do.

How does this make me feel? Horrible sometimes. Mainly, because she can really whip one up and make it seem like your hacking off an appendage.

For two days now I have talked to her about facing her fears - no matter what they are. Her fear this time is what people think of her because she usually gets last. I told her that I do too now that I've moved up in Category. It's not what others think, it's what you think of yourself and how hard you're working on making yourself better at what you do.

Last night I came home with hand-written quotes on perseverance, giving it your all, fear, and character. I told her to pick two quotes, cut them out, and when it's time to get ready to race, stick one in each shoe. Then when you're done with your events we'll pull them out and look at how you crushed them under your feet. She liked the idea. Also, I gave her one of my Team's water bottles, two gel packs, and a protein bar. I told her to slam a gel pack before her first race, then immediately after drink and take another to prepare for the next one. Once that one was over drink again and eat the recovery bar. I get a ton of stuff from our sponsors so I'm going to give her a little gift pack each day she has an event. I'm also going to give her some of my DeFeet socks. They may do nothing for her but I want her to wear them and know that I'll always be with her - even when she feels like she's out there running all by herself.

When it was time to go to bed last night she asked me to pep talk her again. So I did. She fell asleep peacefully and happy.

So ... "suck it up, sister." Yeah. She's going to suck it up and face her fears. She's going to learn to cope and adapt. She's not going to get out of things the way she used to anymore.

Parents are a bunch of weaklings now. We don't want to ruffle our little kid's egos or make them feel distress in any way. So when they grow up and stub their little toe in the real world they don't know how to cope. We cover their ears, cover their eyes, but never teach them to cover their mouths. So when they complain the least little bit we try to protect them - from what I don't know.

I've taught both my girls that once you're in something - especially if YOU decided to get into it - there's not giving up. I don't want them bouncing around from this and that until their comfortable. Comfort is this world's God now. You don't want it? Screw it, move on. You don't like it? Find something else? It doesn't taste good? Throw it away and get what you want. Oh, it's a little tough? Stop and we'll find something easier. I'm sorry you feel discomfort let me do it for you. And here's a piece of cake,go sit down in front of the TV and turn on your favorite show. No. It's ok that I was watching something. You go ahead and run things the way you want. I'll cower down and make sure everything is comfortable for you. Sheesh.