If you don't mind me asking, what was it that drove your W away from it after day 2?
The realization that she had a responsibility to the marriage that she was unwilling to shoulder.
She just wasn't willing or able at that time to pick up her load and carry it.
I think that it is very challenging for someone who has convinced themselves that their spouse is the reason the marriage is failing and the reason that they are unhappy.
Accepting your own part in what is happening is difficult and is what we try to get people to do when they get here.
looking in the mirror is tough when you don't like what you see.
it is esier to deny that it is there. That is why I think the program is good because it forces that issue.
The right outcome emerges. It might not be what you want in that your spouse is still running away but you do get a bit of clarity.
Until your partner does that and has the courage, as you have had, to endeavor to change and be responsible for their own actions and choices...
then you are in for more of the same that brought you here.
That is exactly where she broke down! She realized that she hadn't been "doing anything but just being here." she realized that she had to take her part in our R. She said she couldn't breathe and was having a hard time dealing with it, but knew that she had to. I think that was the beginning of the turning point for her. I pray that she keeps feeling and so far she has. Day by day we are taking it.
M 43, W 40 T 22. M 14 D 14, S 9, S 8 DD 11/21/11 Retrouvaille 4/13/12--and the healing begins as we begin a new journey together!
