Hey Seeking....thank you for posting to me. I will try to answer some of your questions.
Why did I ask for advice? Well because I had not made up my mind yet and came here for support. Thats when I felt like I was called a liar. I was trying to decide if it was worth it because of my sons reaction.
My xh got this way when he moved in his gf. I could hear her in the background sometimes telling him what to say. When she came in the picture he stopped paying the tv bill and giving me twenty dollars here and there. Yep thats all I got besides threats that if I called him and asked for more he would quit his job and move away with our son and I would never see either of them again. SCARED me to death! It also didnt help when I couldnt break contact with him. (you know that story already).
Actually I NEVER thought he would trun our son against me. I knew he didnt care to hurt me BUT I didnt think he would involve son like that.
Seeking I have tried to stay away from my xh including no phone calls, even though at times like when I was in the hospital and wanted my son there. I should have been able to have someone call xh and pass the word onto son (not that it would matter), but I have never had that choice. Has much as I hate it, I have to continue to stay clear. If I try to take my xh to court, he will MAKE SURE my life is a living Hell. He will use our son to do most of it. XH was a cop for years. I know he would use his power to his advantage. He already has. DOnt you remember he got a protection order against me for calling him twice in one week. (that was when he wouldnt sign the title to MY car that he LEFT ME IN THE DIVORCE.) NO i didnt have an attorney so I couldnt go thru one unless i paid. NOT only did he get a protection order for two years. He got a harrassment warrant against me and they set my bond at 750.00!!! I have never even had a speeding ticket that I can remember. The commonwealth attorney was his buddy. Some of the cops he worked with that now no longer care for him said they had NEVER seen a bond that high on something like that, with me NEVER being in trouble or anyhting. AND to back up......I TRIED to get a divorce attorney but NO ONE in my town would represent me because they felt like it was a conflict of interest because of being in court with xh when he was a cop. YES i could have went to the next town, but I got disgusted and gave up.....prb should not have but I got tried of fighting with him and listening to his threats. YES he won that battle and suckered me good! Valuable lesson learned. Guess I was afraid then to huh. ALL about my son and what xh would do. AND has done. After the fact I thought NO he wouldnt have done that. NOW I know he will use son.
As far as being in my shoes. YES we all have lost alot BUT I am going to tell you (and some here may be in teh same place), that having your only child not talk to you in years is THE WORST! I could have lost xh 10 times over and it not hurt this bad.
